SIBLING JEALOUSY

Jealousy is seen in every period of life but in childhood it is seen more common. Sibling jealousy is a natural emotion but the degree and expressing of jealousy ranges according to children.

Especially in the early ages of children sibling jealousy is more common among children. Behaviours of parents, sex, age and age difference are factors in sibling jealousy.

The child’s ideas about himself as his parents do not love him/her as much as his/her sibling causes jealousy more. If the age difference is less than 2,5-3 ages this emotion is experienced more strong. Children in close ages live the same  problems and for parents it is hard to show the same interest and energy to children. The divided interest of parents cause an idea as child is loosing the interest of parents.

Here are some behaviours of jealous child,

– S/he demands things that s/he does  not want before. S/he does not communicate with his/her mother much.

– S/he has problems with sleeping and eating. S/he acts nervous and withdrawn.

– S/he soils underclothes, sucks finger, talks like baby or cries

– S/he wants to sleep with her/his parents

– S/he aggravates orally or physically

– S/he does not want to eat by herself/himself

-S/he does not want to go to the school

-S/he questions her/his parent’s love

All of these factors can be lessen or gather according to the attitudes of parents.

Thus, what should parents do?

Parents belive that as long as they act equal to their children they will face with less problems but needs of 5 years old and 10 years old children and methods of solving their problems are different. Parents should communicate with children according to their ages. Their demands should be evaluated according to their ages. It is normal to have argument among children. They learn their personal limits while solving their argument if parents interfere their argument they prevent their ability to solve problems. Parents should not interfere the problems among chidren as long as they do not give damage to themselves or violate their rights. Parents should not discriminate their children as rightful and wrongful.

Parents  should organize private hours with the child who live jealousy more. They have to pass time with her/him lonely. Every child has different personality. Show respect to his/her differences. Instead of getting angry listen and understand his/her feelings and ideas. Give personal daily responsibilities and  bless him/her orally when s/he fulfills his/her responsibilities.

Three years old children can not think that the baby is alive and s/he can give damage to her/him. S/he got angry with your interest to your baby. Meanwhile with parallel to our behaviours s/he shows positive or negative behaviours. Parents should make division of labour as while mother is feeding the baby,  father can change the clothes of older child. If your child do not want sibling you have to understand his/her feelings. Child could refuse idea of having  sibling because of factors like hard woking of parents and sharing little time to child, the dependent relationship of mother-child relation and undeveloped competing ability. But this important decision about having baby should not be given by your child, this should be your decision.