Tag Archives: child

The Modern Parent-Child Relationship

parent child relationship

The relationship between parents and children has changed significantly in recent decades. While before not too long ago were slaps, house arrest and other penalties in many families on the agenda. There are now only just under a quarter of all parents who make occasional use of such educational measures. If 10 to 15 year old children are punished at all, mostly with television ban. Only 1 to 2 percent of all children have to be afraid of a beating. However, these children are affected then the more of it because they have to deal with this behavior as a minority of parents. The number of unreported cases in this area should not be underestimated.

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Research team that has scored in a survey of 2,663 children aged 10 to 15 years these results has also been found that the sentences with the age of the young people lose weight. While 28 percent of the 10 to be punished to 12 year old, the value drops at 14-to-15-year to 17 percent. The social status of the parents has no influence, the criminal behavior is similar in all social classes.

However, new forms of violence are likely to have developed in the modern parent-child relationship. So practice parents reinforced psychological pressure on their children, threatened with withdrawal of love or try to bribe their children. The refusal to communicate is one of these new forms of punishment.

Views of Children is Respected

But not only the traditional punishments are less and less, and respect for the interests and wishes of the child has become in the modern family as the cornerstone. The German research team has also come to the positive conclusion that already supply two-thirds of respondents to be respected by the parents in their opinions. In conflicts, parents are often willing to yield, when the child can justify his opinion.

Here, however, can be a different setting in the social status groups see that in families of high social status, young people may join in the discussion frequently when it comes to the solution of parent-child problems. The researchers suggest that in these layers a little better trained language competence is responsible.

Strong Child Relatedness of Parents

In only one-third of all families a great distance between parents and children can be seen and the interests of the parents are dominant dominant. In the family of today, the interest of the child is most important and must not withdraw from the outset after the affairs of adults. The parents try to understand their children and try to make themselves understood.

Those children who belong to the third of the parent-centered families

  • They have little room for freedom,
  • There is often trouble in the family,
  • The mother has too little time for them,
  • Father and mother hardly exchanged caresses with them,
  • Father and mother are different degrees of severity.

About half of these children are sure that they will raise their children very differently than they themselves have been brought up. In the other group, ie those children who are fully respected by their parents, think only 18 percent from applying in their children a different parenting style.

Study: Peter Buchner, Burkhard Fuhs, Heinz-Hermann Krüger, “Teddy Bear From the first kiss”, Opladen 1996, pages 1 74-192

INTELLIGENCE AND NUTRITION

INTELLIGENCE AND NUTRITION

 

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Healthy nutrition is important for mental development between  0-3 ages. According to investigations the children who consume sugar and  salt very much face with problem of low IQ level. Their IQ level are 8 points less than the children who did not consume much sugar and salt.

0-1 ages babies’ nutrition is divided into 2. 0-6 months and 6-12 months. Babies should be fed by breast feeding in first 6 months. First year babies should not be fed by cow’s milk. If breast feeding is not sufficient baby should be fed by mother which involve prebiotics to develop and protect the immune system.

 

breast milk

Here are important advices for mothers: – From 1 years old your baby should consume four basic nutrition group. ( meat, egg,leguminous seeds group, milk and milk products group, vegetable-fruit group, bread and cereal group)

– The most important protein group after breast milk if egg. Give an egg every day to your child.

– Your child should drink 1-2 glass of milk every day. Vitamin D is needed to place calcium to bones. You can synthesis Vitamin D only with sun. So sun is important for your children.

– In first one age iron in the milk is not enough for blood formation.So, child should eat meat, greeny and pectin which are rich from iron. In order to increase the benefit of iron in the body foods rich from Vitamin C.

 

food and baby

– Do not add alt to your baby’s meal. In the following years you can start adding salt in his/her meal.

– Omega 3 oil acids are important for mental development of children.

S/he should eat fish, wallnut, purslane.

– Make him/her to eat fresh vegetables and fruits.

-Do not give foods like hamburger, chips which does not have nutrition value to your child.

These are some clues for you to grow up your child.

HOW PARENTS ARGUMENT EFFECT CHILDREN?

 HOW PARENTS ARGUMENT EFFECT CHILDREN?

parents

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The number of parents who never quarrel is very low. So what children feel in this situation? Do parents deny from quarreling in front of children? Or can they make a quarrel in comity? Here are some ideas from authorities.

Children learn many things from their families. Family is the first place that children got educated first. They learn from their families that sometimes there can be unagreement and people can discuss their problems. The behaviours of parents during the argument is important if they show respect to eachother during argument the child got message that his/her parents are trying to solve their problems. Mother and father are two factors for confidence. If they shout at themselves during the argument or they use bad words the child especially who are at pre-education age think that they are not loved by their parents and they argue because of himself/herself.

argument2

The parents should be exemplify in order to teach their children the limits. If blind anger is used during the argument this is terrifying for children. If there is explosion of wrath and practise of violence, they see that their parents are becoming to different creatures. Children are afraid of targetting the anger to themselves. Their sense of security is tossed. Never forget that  children are exemplify their parents in forming their relations. The possibility of  trying to act like his aggressive father of a son is very high. The arguments should be ended before  the tension is uprising.

Children lost their self respect if they are grown up in quarrelling environment because his/her parents are his/her model. For personnel development of children it is important to teach children discussing problems without insulting, putting pressure on himself/herself, and not emposing ideas on them. But never discuss economic problems and the problems about the children in front of your children. You should teach your child how to discuss problems and defend his/her ideas without quarrelling by being model.

discussion

If child is grown up in environment whereas polemic takes place very often, s/he lives many problems like night mares and wetting his/her underclothes, aggressive attitudes, telling lies, masturbation,  etc. These effect personnel development of child in negative way. After a quarrel parents should speak with their children in order to lessen the fear of children. The message of ‘This subject is our problem and we will solve this. It does not have relation with you’ should be given to the children.

quarrel

The children began to be effected from arguments between parents from 2-3 ages old. The older children lives fear of divorcing of their parents.  Boys behaves more aggresive whereas girls are giving more emotional reactions. Their school success declines and they can have bad habits. And in advanced years, the children will show the same behaviours which they learnt from their parents. The right method is to quarrel in place where children are absent. It is better to discuss problems a day later because people are more emotional at that moment. While the argument the couple should not insult themselves and never make children to take a stand.

Never do these: – Do not impend him/her with suiciding and dead. Never use expressions as divorcing, seperating, leaving.

– Do not make children to take a stand

– Do not target your anger to your children

– Do not reflect discredit upon your wife/husband.

FATHERS AND CHILDREN

                                                       FATHERS AND CHILDRENdaddy

 

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In traditional societies father is known as model who works and owns money. He satisfies the family’s needs. He is authoritarian so children should not disturb him because he works a lot and he is always bushed. But nowadays the role model of father has been changed.

In modern societies mothers began to work and the role of fathers began to change. The old vision of fathers changed. Forbidding and angry fathers let their places to  fathers who are understanding,effective in problem solving and take strong interest in children.

Father is the most important model in the lives of children. The relationship of father between son and daughter differs. The relation between father and child is very important because the confidence on father in childhood has vital importance place in adulthood. According to researches fathers who have son take more strong interest in their child. A good model role of father hastens the development of child and increases the self confidence of father. If a child has healthy child-father relationship and child takes the interest and love of father, s/he will be successful in her/his education life and social life.The hand skills of child develop with the support of father. Mother’s support is very important in the image of ‘good father’ which occurs in the mind of child. If mother blames father and degrades him the confidence of child can doubt to father and child can live identity confusion. For this reason to identify the image of ‘father’ in correct way, not to have conflict in child’s behaviours and for the health of mental development of child the behaviours  of mother is very important.

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Thus,  what are the important factors in father-child’s relationship?

– The father should share time to child. He should show interest and love.

– The good care of baby like health, nutrition and bath are important. These behaviours are important for healthy relation in the future.

– The father should accept the child as s/he is. He should not compare his child with others.

– The child’s positive behaviours shoud be supported and his/her failures should not be critisized. Parents should be calm, patient and helpful.

– The father should be role model to child with all of his behaviours.

 Resource:  Parents-June 2013

SIBLING JEALOUSY

                                        SIBLING JEALOUSY

kıskançlık

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Jealousy is seen in every period of life but in childhood it is seen more common. Sibling jealousy is a natural emotion but the degree and expressing of jealousy ranges according to children.

Especially in the early ages of children sibling jealousy is more common among children. Behaviours of parents, sex, age and age difference are factors in sibling jealousy.

The child’s ideas about himself as his parents do not love him/her as much as his/her sibling causes jealousy more. If the age difference is less than 2,5-3 ages this emotion is experienced more strong. Children in close ages live the same  problems and for parents it is hard to show the same interest and energy to children. The divided interest of parents cause an idea as child is loosing the interest of parents.

Here are some behaviours of jealous child,

– S/he demands things that s/he does  not want before. S/he does not communicate with his/her mother much.

– S/he has problems with sleeping and eating. S/he acts nervous and withdrawn.

– S/he soils underclothes, sucks finger, talks like baby or cries

– S/he wants to sleep with her/his parents

– S/he aggravates orally or physically

– S/he does not want to eat by herself/himself

-S/he does not want to go to the school

-S/he questions her/his parent’s love

All of these factors can be lessen or gather according to the attitudes of parents.

Thus, what should parents do?

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Parents belive that as long as they act equal to their children they will face with less problems but needs of 5 years old and 10 years old children and methods of solving their problems are different. Parents should communicate with children according to their ages. Their demands should be evaluated according to their ages. It is normal to have argument among children. They learn their personal limits while solving their argument if parents interfere their argument they prevent their ability to solve problems. Parents should not interfere the problems among chidren as long as they do not give damage to themselves or violate their rights. Parents should not discriminate their children as rightful and wrongful.

Parents  should organize private hours with the child who live jealousy more. They have to pass time with her/him lonely. Every child has different personality. Show respect to his/her differences. Instead of getting angry listen and understand his/her feelings and ideas. Give personal daily responsibilities and  bless him/her orally when s/he fulfills his/her responsibilities.

Three years old children can not think that the baby is alive and s/he can give damage to her/him. S/he got angry with your interest to your baby. Meanwhile with parallel to our behaviours s/he shows positive or negative behaviours. Parents should make division of labour as while mother is feeding the baby,  father can change the clothes of older child. If your child do not want sibling you have to understand his/her feelings. Child could refuse idea of having  sibling because of factors like hard woking of parents and sharing little time to child, the dependent relationship of mother-child relation and undeveloped competing ability. But this important decision about having baby should not be given by your child, this should be your decision.