No More Sorrow and Tears – The Best Action Against The Pain of Separation
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There is hardly anything worse than the pain of separation. Nothing more interesting, nothing can cheer, all thoughts only revolve around one thing: the lost love..But even in this bad phase, there are strategies that can overcome the pain of separation.
These are the best measures against the pain of separation:
- Pain of separation: Prohibition of contact
Freshly isolated one has the feeling of standing on a precipice. ‘Internally, the partners in this phase is still extremely present. You have to constantly think about it, everything reminds him. And when you see yourself, the pain breaks over and over again,’ says psychologist Wolfgang Krüger (‘freedom to love’ , cross-Verlag). Therefore: ‘ In this first phase, an absolute prohibition of contact should prevail. You have to realize: Every conversation, every touch, every meeting extended the separation phase and thus the pain of separation.’
Contact prohibition also means revenge actions are taboo. ‘We hurt ourselves with it only because we inwardly always ready to deal with the partner. Too, which extends the phase of suffering.’
If you have children together, a total ban on contact is not an option of course. There are two principles, the expert said: ‘disputes can not be settled on the backs of children. Never should you talk before the children badly about the other. Man parenthood and thus the contact with the ex should sober as a common see project. This is about the welfare of children, nothing else. ‘
- Rediscovering Independence
Previously, the partner was always there, and has shared everyday worries – after a while you realize that you now actually stands alone. ‘In many situations, the small integration in the existing relationship we now only become apparent. It takes months before we are independent of the partners,’ said Wolfgang Müller. His advice: You should fill in the life active with new content. ‘At this stage, friends, family and colleagues are extremely important to gradually rebuild an independent life.’
- Reorientation
Sooner or later, all items that still remember the partner, to be disposed of. The only way to leave the past behind and to reorient. Soon you will see, the inner dialogue, the one constantly performs with the ex-partner occurs less frequently. And the joy of life returns slowly when you have recovered close to himself. Wolfgang Müller explains. ‘It must stop constantly pondering, and instead listen again more to the inner voice is the only way the real reorientation is possible.’
- Mourning
Displacement and distraction help with initial capitalization. Eventually, the separation must be processed internally. ‘Otherwise it’s like having a wall that you just sweeps,’says the expert. ‘ Who has not really processed his grief, will try in another life, protect single will remain or fail again in the next relationship.’ Mourning states: Internally adopt and make clear what loss you have suffered, what hopes you have buried what errors are happening. ‘Here comes one’s psychological injuries very close and that is of course painful. Reason, the grieving process is only possible if one goes back quite well.’
- Dare A new love
‘Really a relationship is terminated only when a new partnership comes into existence’, says Wolfgang Krueger. ‘Until then, exists between the ex-partners still a kind of relationship. One of them hopes usually on a comeback of love.’ Whether one of his ex-partner is really away, you can answer with a simple question: ‘ I Could my ex-partner in love problems advice, when he starts a new relationship?’ If one at that thought evil, then you are not ready for a new relationship. If you however ready for something new, you should think twice about what you want from a new partner and what hopes are associated with it. Wolfgang Krüger: ‘ Who has come so far, has survived the worst Suddenly, one suspects that there is a full life after the separation And that’s good.’
